My Body Is My Own

“It’s been two years and a bit since I walked away from you and today I found out some things that have left me feeling shaken, sad and very truly violated.

 In December 2012 two strangers tried to contact me and warn me about you, about your activities that involved them and others.

That was eight months into our relationship- you were already living with me. 

Now years later I am thankful that I ended with you, I am thankful that we never had kids, I’m thankful that somehow your promiscuity, your reckless behaviour did not land on me, somehow by the grace of whomever/whatever I was and am ok. 

For eight months (and possibly the duration of our relationship) by giving consent to others over your body you gave away my rights to mine. You violated my trust and endangered my health. 

-This is not a hate letter. 

My chest aches with the pain that you have caused. I know that you were broken, I know that you were hurting. That did not give you the right to behave the way that you did – we all have past stories, we all carry wounded hearts…

Now so many years later I’ve been unsuccessful in contacting those two whom tried to warn me. Perhaps somehow they’ll know that I am grateful and that I thank them for being responsible, for caring enough to reach out. 
I am not always the praying type, but today I pray that you have stopped being so reckless, I pray that you have received enough lessons in life to grow up and be responsible. 

I want you to know that you hurt me. You broke that trust, everything I gave to you, all those moments… How many were lies?

Selfish behaviours by a struggling soul that walked in shadows, afraid of the light. But the light always comes, eventually, to shine upon the truth. And the truth- it bites.

 I am no longer the fool who tried to save the trickster from his own traps. 

Today I am the Knight and I bring the sun, shadows beware, I stand strong.”

“My body is my own, do not invite others into it without asking me first- this is a violation of consent. This is not ok. You have just taken away my rights to my own body. “

That is the truth there, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Not ever. 

–on discovering infidelity and how my past partner was engaging in unsafe sexual play within the first eight months of our exclusive relationship, lies and how to stand up again when one’s been knocked down. 


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