Tag Archive | alone

Arms Of Another 

When you touch my bare skin what do you feel? Is it the softness, bathed in gentle wafts of lavender and silk, or the dry hand of the sun from noon…

Do you smell the scent of summer upon the air when I walk by? Or the sweat of lust against my brow and cheek.

What do you see when you look into my eyes? Friend, beauty, lover?
And when you grasp my hand and lead me giggling about the room do you sense my heart beat, do you feel the flush upon my skin?

Are you with me in this moment when together we are twined about the moon. Or am I alone… whilst you look out unto the night, wandering in a world that I can never walk into.

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Combatant Of The Night

I trudge forward now, dropping pen and ink. Left to float are pages of thoughts and sorrows to drift and dwindle in the lamp lighting my way. A soldiers woes and tales of memories long past pouring forth with a whiplashing of wounds, reopening to glare at me in my humbled state… Nothing left but to turn a new leaf over now… nothing left.
I stand aside and let the waves roar upon the sky, I stand aside and watch the lightning strike the earth. Water ruined clothing clings about my feet and I stand, though weeping, I stand and stir not a lie. “The world is a devil if ever I saw one.” My mind thus cries, claws tearing from the frothing sea, long spindly fingers of darkness so near I can hear her breath, soft and moaning so near, so near.
I grasp tightly to the last scrap within my hand, one more heartbeat, is there time? I cannot find a wisp of thought worth sealing, not a thought worth leaving. I’m staring out into hells night with the water pouring over me both from the skies and the sea, the mother of all nights… Why, why must it be? I feverishly turn my eyes upward and shake my fists as the thunder pounds upon me, ears ringing, mind swimming.
My knees cold and broken meet the concrete, puddle torn, cobble crossed path I shortly stood upon, blood sore and frozen. No time… There was never time and now she must be paid. I weep with the night, that swollen moment of a night, never forgotten in my mind.
Paper crushed between my fingers and spinning down, down. Am I lost? I wonder, watching the frantic paddle of a seagull turning, tossed from wave to wave like seaweed attempting to find shore. “Am I but to shrivel up here, in the now awakened time of everlasting mourning?” Greyness, greyness and the roaring green black tide… “That is but me.” I think aloud as I watch the seagull cry, its feathers drenched it spins and spins… Will it forever be such? One long storm, thoughts and feelings intertwined and a scattering of paper like leaves upon the brimming winds and turning tides.
Not a question, no, not at all, this a knowing. Within my soul I feel it calling and I must stand on those water washed toes and meet the anger of the sky. My fist is raised, “I shall fight!” Always, always… As the dawning sparrow cocks her head at me I nod, she knows, she sees the morning rise of daylight speaking.
I sigh. To trudge towards my cove, cozy by a warm fire. Yes, tomorrow comes and I am still here, here walking like a solider within the night.

 

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Fear Not The Lone One’s Cry

The sun breaking through fallen eaves,
the swaying branch of laughing trees,
the sight of silver-white snow,
a breathy mist, a sorrowful crow.

Tomorrow’s rain that calls new life,
leaves that spiral bringing flight,
the softest hush, the smoothest sigh,
another day to wave goodbye.

And then unto this night begone!
For love is swift and battles strong,
nothing left but freedoms win…
this life is ours to suffer in.

Triumph is sweet as tulips kiss
and lips shall meet as hearts shall risk,
another season sings its song.

The moon is high, the light glows on…

 

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The Dreamer & The Fawn

My grandmama (on my mother’s side) wrote a beautiful poem about a young man from long ago and a love that they shared yet was never spoken of. It stays with me, here and there I’ll see it among all her writings, letters and stories. When I think of it, as I find myself now, I always wonder why… why they never told each other how they truly felt? Never the right time perhaps? Something or someone always getting in the way? I suppose I’ll never really know… I can only hope that now on another plain they have found a way to exchange soft words and not far off glances, glances inevitably blocked by “the timing just isn’t right.”

Does one ever truly have the courage to risk breaking friendships that are so elegantly intertwined? Those that seem to stay in a land where time stands still, each moment filled with laughter and promises of forever never coming to pass.

The poet who speaks with flowers and words scripted upon stones hidden far away. But is it only a romantic fantasy? A stable boy finding his way to the princess, though worlds keep them long apart.

How do we dream up such things? Is it not because of the heart. The heart which through shadow and dark passage can only speak the truth, untainted by jealous thought and fear, the heart a peaceful warrior always steady, always strong. The candle in the wind.

“Bring me a rose any day and smile sweetly, I’ll remember, through star cast nights when the winds whisper ‘always and forever’, I’ll remember…”

“Wait for the pass to open when winter is finally gone, but be wary, sweetheart, of waiting far too long. The spring will come then go, the grass will weave and frosts not so tender hand will grasp and tear, another winter has come and for what? To leave one waiting… and springs perfect timing yet again to come, missed, now gone…”

For all my thought-filled wanderings I’ll leave your mind to play with this.

Be wary sweetheart. ‘Alone’ is ‘long’, when robbed of ‘A’, ‘E’ and followed by ‘G’. … and love is hardly this sensible… Be it always tender and strong.

-Said the wayward dreamer to the fawn.

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Drop

Words like imagery can move you…

into alternate places, deep and devastating corners of your mind, into shadow, into light,

there is something there to be said, something there to be felt, something….

And when you see it, feel it, read it, you are somewhere else, someone else,

and the universe appears in a way never before felt, never before seen,

it’s magic and wonder both at the same time and all you can do is stop,

close your eyes and breathe for fear of being lost in the wonder that is…

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Breathe

Sometimes it is a scary step to take in making yourself important enough to do what is best for your highest good, often we can’t hear what that is because we are too confused by the buzzing.

Sit in the silence, you know what you need to continue your journey. One step at a time.

Go walk, dance, meditate, shut out the noise of the outside world and focus on you. Then throw that all out the window and just be for awhile. Don’t over analyse, don’t do the ‘what if’s’, running them over and over again until you are so tired you wish you could crawl under a rock and it would all just go away…

Let go of controlling the outcome of the situation, trust that you are taken care of, you can’t control everything…  and the universe is supporting you, the universe has a plan…. everything happens for a reason.

You are going through this for a reason, there is something to learn, we may not know what that is and we may have to go through it another billion times, eventually something will click, if only for a short while and there will be relief.

The only person who truly knows what is best for you is you.

You already know what your truth is, you will either choose to ignore that and continue on, or you will make changes to align your life more with whatever your truth is! It can take years, you will know your pace, you will know what you need to do to follow your purpose, whatever that is!

Trust yourself, everything is going to be okay.

What is your inner self trying to tell you? What can you do to better hear what it is saying?

Are you happy in your life? What changes can you make?

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Breathe deep, you are not alone.

“Hush…” warned the butterfly

“Hush…” warned the butterfly

Long shadows reach across the moon cast night, eerie fingers climbing

eagerly over rock and root with gnarled nails scraping at dampened crevice

and sunken corners, leaving behind a mist of molding questions to hang

within the air. Such a night that no soul in its right mind would wander,

whisper or walk without an army of well fitted men to protect ones back.

Fires crackle, with blue hands nearby, shoulders shivering as bodies huddle

close, eyes black and beady steal glances from side to side, fearful of what

may lie behind them. A thickness of unease is spread like tar, sickly

clinging to the living and those near dead. Its fangs bare down, a serpent

sneaking its way into our beds, eyes betraying its thoughts as it sucks the

warmth from within us. Breath and the beat beat of our chest, pale faces with

lips parted gasp, what was life but joyous… now rain ruined and blood

stained red. Knees pressed into the dirt, cold and hard, prayers turned to the

heavens, hands rose up high, “if there be a god may he find us, may he

save us from this tide.” Tears blink and down from cheek run, falling with

a shattering of sighs amongst the bent and broken. Children cry, but pause, a

moment hung, is that a star hidden within the sky, or a sweet angel? Creature

of the light, her heart so pure, she is singing for us. “Raise the stagnant air

from the earth and send it far from sight, raise the voices of the lovers,

bring out the dolphin hymns, fend off the night!” Like a thunder clap the

silence broken, with a roar of waves upon the sky. Wondrous laughter

carried upward, with wings unfolding, soaring outward far and wide. Into

the rainbow light, along the rosy tide, crystal souls a dancing, white skirts

and gleaming smiles.

With the world now awakened, no sadness here can lie.

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